The Stupid Shuffle

So what is the deal with these stupid dances? The latest, "The Cupid Shuffle" has got to be the worst by far. It is basically a revision of the Electric Slide, with worse steps and even worse music. What is it that makes people want to be such sheep? Is it a lack of dancing skill? It is all so baffling to me.

When I was younger, I did enjoy the Electric Slide, and it's most likely because admittedly, I cannot keep a beat to save my life. But then I worked as catering staff for a facility that would accommodate 3 wedding receptions in one day. In 1996. This was the pinnacle of The Macarena. OMG!!! Not only did EVERY disc jockey play this song, they played it multiple times at each reception. And the people loved it. And I wanted to stick a carving knife in my ear.

Next, there is the Cha-Cha Song (or whatever it is called). This has been a staple of wedding receptions over the past few years. And now that I am 30, I go to several weddings each year. And groan when it inevitably plays. And how many people know how to "do the Charlie Brown"? Most people just stand there when that part plays. But at least this dance is not the same 3 moves repeated over and over and over again. You actually have to listen and follow instructions. Which makes it paradoxically both less annoying and the perfect song for sheep.

The Cupid Shuffle is the worst by far. None of the steps are original. In fact, it takes all the filler steps from other dances and calls itself "new". It is stupid. And people look stupid doing it. So why does it fill the dance floor when it comes on? This, my friends, will remain a great mystery to me.